


We Wait Like Evening For Night

by a_ufo_party



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff and Angst, contains mild odin bashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 19:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11720553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_ufo_party/pseuds/a_ufo_party
Summary: Loki did not know how many times he had found himself in Sif’s bed after an argument with his father. He knew not when or how it had started. He did not even know what the nature of his relationship with the fair warrior was. All he knew was that her presence was the only thing successful in distracting him to sleep on such evenings.





	We Wait Like Evening For Night

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: “I’ll let you down. I will always let you down. I’m not enough for you to be satisfied.” Feel free to send me sifki prompts on my tumblr: @chidi-anagonye
> 
> Have some teen/young adult sifki angst! For the sake of this fic we’re going to headcanon that all the warriors live at the palace, okay? Rated teen for mild sensuality, but nothing graphic. 
> 
> Title from Noble Aim by Sleeping at Last

“Thor, I have decided that you will be heading tomorrow’s hunt. Lady Sif, your brother, and the Warriors Three will accompany you. Have you any questions about the journey?” Odin’s commanding voice echoed around the tall ceilings of the throne room. “No? Very well. Do me proud, son.”

“I will.” Thor bowed, with a cocky smirk.

Glancing at his grinning brother, Loki felt a surge of jealousy and used this to force himself to speak. “Father?”

“What is it, Loki?”

“Do you not think…” He trailed off, seeing Thor shaking his head in warning.

“Do I not think, what? Say your piece.”

“Well, do you not think that perhaps I should have a turn leading the exhibition?”

“Oh?” Lifting his eyebrows, the Allfather leaned back in his throne. “Do you think you are ready?”

“Yes sir.”

“Then you are mistaken. Safe travels to you both.” With this, he turned and began to speak with one of his advisors.

Thor bowed and turned to leave but Loki did not budge.

Taking in a sharp breath, he lifted his chin and tried to contain his pain at his father’s shortness. Odin had always been cold and critical when he requested responsibilities of any kind. Why should today have been any different?

“All due respect, father, but if you would only entrust me with a-”

“Did you not hear me, boy? I said you are not ready.” Odin snapped, barely turning his attention from his advisor.

“And I am respectfully disagreeing.” He made his voice as smooth and diplomatic as possible.

“Loki, not today.” Thor hissed, gripping his arm. But the younger prince brushed him away. So, with a shrug, he exited the room, not wanting to stay and watch the inevitable argument.

“Father, if you would only try giving me leadership of a hunt, you will find that I am every bit as qualified as Thor.”

“Ah, so this is merely a brother’s jealousy.”

Loki’s blood felt like ice and his jaw fixed. However, he covered up this stab of hurt with a breathy laugh. “No, indeed-”

“If you believe yourself to be more entitled than your brother-”

“I did not say that!”

“Do not interrupt me, boy!” He growled suddenly, eyes lighting up with an outraged glint.

Flinching, Loki stumbled back several steps and mumbled an apology.

“As I was saying: If you believe yourself to be better qualified than Thor, consider this. While you played with illusions and tricks in the library, your brother tracked animals with the other boys. While you schemed and plotted childish mischief, he dueled in the courtyard. While you danced and made merry at feasts, he sat at the warriors’ feet and listened to their tales. It was your own decision to spend your days in this foolish manner, rather than preparing yourself for the duties of manhood. As such, you are now a fool, while your brother is a man.”

Stinging tears pricked the corners of his eyes as he listened to the cutting speech. How his father was able to ignore both Thor’s flaws and his own strengths was a constant aggravation. As if Thor did not spend every feast roaring drunk, bellowing battle songs. As if he had not neglected his studies in school in order to wrestle and mock duel with his schoolfellows. Every part of Loki wanted to remind their father of this. Every part of him wanted to hiss that, while in the libraries, he would study strategy and lawmaking, as well as magic. He wanted to bring up the sorcery he had mastered which would be useful on the battlefield, as well as in negotiation. But he knew full well the Allfather would not hear this. He seemed to have a willing ignorance to that which was in contradiction to his favoritism. So, Loki pressed his lips shut and said nothing.

“Perhaps,” Odin resumed after a moment, something resembling remorse glimmering in his eyes. “If you try very hard to use your time wisely, you will be entrusted with the next hunt.”

Loki had nothing to say to this that would not end in a larger disagreement. So, forcing his tight lips into a false smile, he bowed deeply, before turning and striding out of the throneroom.

* * *

 

His knuckled wrapped against Sif’s door, the sound carrying down the dark, vacant hall of the warrior's wing.

It was late.

She was probably asleep.

But he had to try. He needed a distraction. His father’s words would not leave him be, banishing all hope of solitary sleep from his mind.

_ “It was your own decision to spend your days in this foolish manner, rather than preparing yourself for the duties of manhood. As such, you are now a fool, while your brother is a man.” _

After a moment passed, Sif’s door creaked open, revealing the disheveled warrior.

“Loki? What is amiss? I was just going to bed.” She said, gesturing to her sleeping clothes and undone hair.

“I…” He started, “May I come in?”

“Of course. But, are you-”

Her words were interrupted by the young man lunging forward and kissing her decidedly.

Making a surprised, but not unhappy noise, she pulled him into the room and closed the door behind them with a click.

“Is everything...alright...Loki?” She asked breathlessly between kisses as they stumbled into the main part of her quarters.

“Mm...just...needed you.” 

Pulling away, she helped him remove his cloak and vest. “Your father again?” 

“I do not want to discuss it.”

“Very well. What _ do _ you want to do?”

His eyes were distant and lonely as he stared at her lips. “I want a distraction.”

“And I am that distraction?” Lifting an eyebrow, she brushed his cheek with her thumb.

He nodded weakly, kissing her once more. But this time it was gentle and slow, unlike the frantic, hungry way he had embraced her moments ago.

And it worried her.

Nevertheless, she allowed him to lead them into her sleeping chamber.

* * *

 

Loki did not know how many times he had found himself in Sif’s bed after an argument with his father. He knew not when or how it had started. He did not even know what the nature of his relationship with the fair warrior was. All he knew was that her presence was the only thing successful in distracting him to sleep on such evenings. However, this night, something was different. The weight of Sif’s arm around his waist, the feeling of her soft breath against his neck, the pale moonlight illuminating her restful face, things which so often provided him the comfort he needed to sleep, were proving strangely ineffective.

With a sigh, he gently moved aside her arm and sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. The moonlight lightened the room just enough to reveal his cloak, vest, and tunic strewn onto the floor. Running his fingers through his rumpled hair, he readied himself to stand.

Then, a hand caught his arm.

“Loki, are you alright?” Sif’s sleep laden voice asked.

“Hm? Oh, yes. Go back to sleep. Do not trouble yourself,” replied Loki, attempting to make his voice as calm and convincing as possible.

For a moment, all was silent. Then, there was a rustle of fabric and he felt Sif’s arms wrap his torso.

“Your silver tongue will not work on this victim, Loki.” She placed a kiss on his neck. “What is the matter?”

“I said it is nothing. I simply cannot sleep.”

“Very well.” She sighed, releasing him from her embrace.

A moment passed.

Then, words escaped his lips uncontrollably. “Do you think me a fool?”

“No.” There was a confidence in her voice, no hesitation or amusement, which soothed him deeply. “Why would you feel the need to ask such a question?”

Laying back down onto the pillow, he ignored her response. “Do you think Thor is a fool?”

“I think...Thor is a prince of Asgard and my friend. I will say no more on the subject.” The wry edge of her voice brought a small smirk to his face.

“Our father believes I am far more foolish than my brother.”

“Loki…”

“ _ ‘It was your own decision to spend your days in this foolish manner, rather than preparing yourself for the duties of manhood. As such, you are now a fool, while your brother is a man.’  _ Those were his words. _ ” _

“But you know this accusation to be false. I have seen your studies, your magic, it is not unlike that of the Allmother. Far from childish”

Unable to find agree with her defense of his skill, he shrugged.

“Words spoken out of anger are never without exaggeration.” She recited.

“But neither are words spoken out of love,” retorted Loki.

Instantly, a strained energy settled over the pair as what he had just insinuated dawned on them.

They had never once said that they loved each other. At least, not in so many words.

They had not even entered into a proper courtship.

A blush rose on his face, making him grateful for the darkness. “I...I, um, am sorry for-”

“No, do not apologize.” Rolling onto her side, she brushed several strands of hair away from his face. Her voice sounded far happier than he had expected. “I believe such a statement is overdue. Indeed, Loki, I do lo-”

“No.” He cut her off, sitting up again.

“Please, let me speak.”

“I cannot hear what you are going to say.”

“I am only trying to say that I love you!”

“Yes, I know. That is why I stopped you.”

“Oh. So...you do not share my feelings?”

The cold disappointment in her voice pierced his heart. “No, that is not the reason.”

“Then why?”

“I...I will let you down.” Pinching the bridge of his nose, he took in a sharp breath. “I will always let you down. I’m not enough for you to be satisfied. I only wanted to prevent you from saying something you may soon regret.”

Sitting up and turning to him, Sif took his face into her hands and kissed him gently.

To her relief, rather than moving away, he melted into her, wrapping his arms snugly around her waist and pulling her against him.

They remained like this for a long moment until Sif drew back slightly, kissing his forehead and smoothing his hair. 

“Loki, your father is blind to your cleverness, your talent. To me, this makes him a greater fool than you.”

“Maybe so.” He breathed, smiling numbly. “Nevertheless, the opinion of the most powerful being in the nine realms must count for something.”

“On subjects of war and government, perhaps. But you mistake all powerful for all knowing.”

Loki was quiet for a minute, pondering her words.

“You know that I am right.” Sif grinned, reclining into the bed once more.

“I know that you...may have a point.”

“High praise indeed. Now will you lay beside me again and try to sleep?” 

Nodding, he placed his head on her pillow and let her arm settle around his waist.

“Goodnight, Sif.”

“Goodnight, Loki.”

He hesitated a moment before adding, “I love you.”

And she responded in kind, with a tone of such adoration that he felt his self loathing disintegrate into the warm night air.

For Sif, strong, clever, beautiful Sif, could not love a fool.    
  



End file.
